Out of the Lord’s grace and mercy alone, I grew up in a loving community and church home, which from my earliest memories, continually taught about the Lord’s sovereignty, His Word, and the atoning sacrifice of Christ.

As my understandings matured, and as I took part in classes at my church that dug into scripture and provided wise mentors around the age of 12, the Lord revealed that, although I had always known of His kindness, I had misunderstood my need for a savior as well as all that Christ had borne on the cross. Without the saving power of Christ, I was dead in my trespasses as I followed the course of this world, even as a kid. But God, being so rich in mercy and love, made me alive together with Christ. As I began to grasp the weight of the gospel’s good news, I called on the gracious, righteous, and compassionate name of the Lord, I knew that my only response to this undeserved gift could be to repent, turn, and fully dedicate my life to and place my faith in Christ. (Ephesians 2, Psalm 116).

As I continued to grow in my faith, the Lord illuminated a misunderstanding I had developed about the all-covering, redeeming power of Christ’s blood. I had been living in awe and gratitude that the Lord had saved me from the entangling cords of death, distress, and sorrow; however, I had lost sight of the magnitude of this kindness. I had created a false need to prove my worthiness which resulted in consistent anxiety and relentless self-critique. Through this season, the Lord brought me to see that I would never be able to earn His mercy, that I would always fall short, which is what gives such power to the freely given and unearned salvation found in Christ’s death and resurrection! I had been made a new creation, justified and at peace with God, but I had been living in fear instead of in light of that promise! (Psalm 116, Romans 5).

As the Lord wiped away this unfounded anxiety, I joyfully embraced that the Lord was the source of my change, not me. I now can continue to offer praise for my shortcomings as they serve as perpetual reminders of His power and HIS goodness. The gratitude and joy that have filled my life and heart are not a result of my own works- for I am HIS workmanship that he continues to refine. The confidence and peace that motivate my actions are not a result of my circumstances- for the LORD is my portion and my cup, and he makes my lot secure. The words of Psalm 116 characterize my heart after the cross, as I am still being continually refined EVERY day. I love the Lord, for He has delivered me from death, my eyes from tears, and my feet from stumbling. I will bless and praise His name forever. (Psalm 16, Psalm 116).